I am so blessed to be able to celebrate mother's day. I longed for years to do that. It amazes me still that this is really MY life. I have two kids...a boy and a girl...the perfect setup.
But I still miss my first babies...W & K were missing from our Mother's Day joy. I know they are "here" but not really and that doesn't always help. Sometimes I want them REALLY here,not there.
My heart aches for my friends who don't have their babies with them today. And for the ones who've never felt the joy of a life growing within them, yet long for that. Mothers in their hearts. Mothers with empty arms. Mothers with a hole in the heart and down to their soul. Mothers visiting graves and holding onto blankets, missing their babies (even if that baby was grown). It's such an empty feeling. I can still remember so vividly the feelings on Mother's Day...I wanted to stand up in church and say "BUT I AM A MOTHER!!!!"
A hard day for so many. I don't understand why so many can't have the babies they so desperatly want. Why? I can remember, while trying for a baby after the twins,"If I were 16, I'd be pregnant in a second". I would get so angry!! It's just one of those unfair things in this world. One of my first questions to God will be "why?" Why don't I have have all 4 of my little ones here with me to raise? Why?
I will not know this side of Heaven and I have to be ok with that. He knows what He's doing. I know He works all things for good. I have been able to minister to so many others. And if that's why...then ok.
And for those who have their babies with them...Happy Mother's Day to you! It's a hard job, but I hope you realize exactly what it means. Those without would give ANYTHING to be tired, puked on, hung on, etc etc etc. I try to not complain...I waited so many years to have this. I feel like I have no right to be anything but joyous all the time, even though that's not even sort-of possible. These 2 are my miracles...I do not know why I got to have them, but I am forever grateful to my Lord for them.
But I still miss my first babies...W & K were missing from our Mother's Day joy. I know they are "here" but not really and that doesn't always help. Sometimes I want them REALLY here,not there.
My heart aches for my friends who don't have their babies with them today. And for the ones who've never felt the joy of a life growing within them, yet long for that. Mothers in their hearts. Mothers with empty arms. Mothers with a hole in the heart and down to their soul. Mothers visiting graves and holding onto blankets, missing their babies (even if that baby was grown). It's such an empty feeling. I can still remember so vividly the feelings on Mother's Day...I wanted to stand up in church and say "BUT I AM A MOTHER!!!!"
A hard day for so many. I don't understand why so many can't have the babies they so desperatly want. Why? I can remember, while trying for a baby after the twins,"If I were 16, I'd be pregnant in a second". I would get so angry!! It's just one of those unfair things in this world. One of my first questions to God will be "why?" Why don't I have have all 4 of my little ones here with me to raise? Why?
I will not know this side of Heaven and I have to be ok with that. He knows what He's doing. I know He works all things for good. I have been able to minister to so many others. And if that's why...then ok.
And for those who have their babies with them...Happy Mother's Day to you! It's a hard job, but I hope you realize exactly what it means. Those without would give ANYTHING to be tired, puked on, hung on, etc etc etc. I try to not complain...I waited so many years to have this. I feel like I have no right to be anything but joyous all the time, even though that's not even sort-of possible. These 2 are my miracles...I do not know why I got to have them, but I am forever grateful to my Lord for them.
I, too, wish you could have had all 4 of your precious babies here to celebrate Mother's Day! I am thankful that God chose to bless you on Earth with Bubba and Sweet Pea and bless you each day as you watch them grow into the beautiful people that God has chosen for them. I am glad you had a good Mother's Day! Love you friend!
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