September

September

It used to be my favorite month...sort of cooler weather (though today it will be 95 degrees), leaves begin to change some by the end of the month, I don't know...I have just always like it. I also love the birthstone, Sapphire.

Now I have two of those beautiful sapphires in a mother's ring.

Of two precious children who aren't here.

I don't like September quite the same anymore.

The whole month of September does this to me: anytime I say, write, hear, or think "September" my mind immediately adds "the 24th". That is W & K's birthday. The whole month is just a work up to that day. After that day, I breath again. They would have been (will be? in Heaven) 9 years old. Wow.

I don't know when or if this will get easier than it is now. It's certainly better than it was at first when I was a wreck most of the time, certainly this time of year. Some years it has snuck up on me, suddenly it's Sept 12 or something. But mostly, I'm keenly aware of the approaching day.

I've moved on to October. It's really cooler, leaves are changing MORE, it's Colby's birthday, and this year we'll celebrate our 13th anniversary on Oct 4.

Yep, October is definitely better.