Church

We joined a new church today. The way the Southern Baptist's do it is you leave one church and "transfer" your membership to another. Our preacher said it well this morning...and we had already decided to walk down the aisle & join...he said he was glad for transfers, or as he calls it "church swappin'" :) He went on to say he likes that, but he really wants new church members..as in ones that have never been members...since "swappin'" doesn't add the to Kingdom of God. I liked that. He's a funny guy, the new preacher at this church. Big shoes to fill, since the former pastor was there for 33 years. Wow...he's a brave guy! And he's great. We've been visiting there off & on for a year, but lately I've been feeling like we really needed to commmit. Part of me is heartbroken, as that ends our membership at the BEST church ever in Oklahoma. My heart is still back there. But, we move on. This is the kind of thing I like about God - we haven't been to church in over a month due to Christmas and sickness. And what starts TODAY? A new bible study on Sunday nights. COOL!! And there is one for everyone, but the one I picked is "Attitude of a Transformed Heart". I hope it's good. I need a new attitude..mine's a little down lately. i like it when God says "HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO" instead of giving me hints. I don't do well with hints..I need it written in black marker on the board in class this morning!

So, we are officially members & we are starting a daily challenge that the whole church is doing to read thru the bible in a year. We got a fancy new bible all divided up and everything. Hopefully we'll make it through. One guy in class this morning said he was only 24 days behind (HA HA it's Jan 24)

Lazy Weekend

Last night colby & I got to have date night! It's the first one we've had since Christmas I think. We dropped the kiddles off at mom's and then we went to see the "Tooth Fairy". I can't even remember the last time we went to the movies together, it's been YEARS...seriously. I've only been to the movies a few times in the last few years and it's been either by myself or with mom. It was a really cute movie and totally clean. How refreshing! No foul language, no violence, no sex..just a cute story! I got to sleep til 8:30 this morning. Colby went duck hunting at 5AM. I don't get that. Anyway, if it weren't for Dixie (the psycho puppy) beginning her bark/whine session at 6:30, it would have been even better.

I managed to run out and buy some new scrubs since all mine were pre-Bubba and didn't really fit well. Wonder why??? Then I picked up Sweet Pea. Bubba has gone to the IMAX with his Memaw and is planning to spend the night again. I told him to call me afterwards to tell me what it was about and he said "Do I have to?" LOL Well, no, but you can if you want to. I'm glad they get to be with their grandparents (at least one set) reguarly. That was so much fun for me as a kid. I remember going out to eat with my grandparents every weekend...usually to Western Sizzlin or Po' Folks. I loved that place!!

Remembering

This may be depressing for some of you - this is your warning. Sometimes things in life just suck and getting it out on paper or via blogs is helpful.

I am following a blog of a friend of a good friend of mine (did ya get that?). She recently lost her newborn baby shortly after birth after trying for 10 years and undergoing IVF. I am so drawn to her, I suppose it's the "misery loves company" thing plus the sympathic part of me. Since following her blog, I catch myself thinking of her all the time. It has only been 7 weeks for her, yet it has been 8 years for me. Eight years? How is that possible. She often writes that it just feels like yesterday. Yep...I cannot bring myself to tell her it will ALWAYS feel like yesterday. She will find that out on her own. I don't burst into tears at the thought of W & K anymore, but I do still have tearful moments.(Like while watching a recent episode of Desperate Housewives) For those who don't know me, we lost twins at 22 weeks of pregnancy back in 2001 (2 weeks after 9/11). And for this gal, I cannot imagine carrying a baby/babies to term and having to come home to an empty nursery. That shouldn't happen. It's one thing to lose babies mid-pregnancy. I had no nursery...though I had dreams of one. I had no baby clothes, none of that. I went into the hospital at 18 weeks, knowing there was a good chance I would leave empty-armed. I was grateful to come home to my house, with no signs of babies. It was my safe haven among a world FULL of pregnant women and babies. As she is experiencing now, it seems everyone suddenly is pregnant or carrying a new baby, as if you've landed on some other planet...were all those women & babies there before? Where did they come from??

partly I think I should stop following her blog as it brings up all those feelings...I don't understand how after 8 years it can still seem like yesterday. But it does sometimes. I replay the events of that day over and over. Why do we do that? Maybe that's the only time they were here, so I have to cling to that. For the 3 years we lived in that area, I felt....something...when I'd drive by the hospital. That was the only place they ever LIVED.

As she says, she has now entered a new club...the club of mommies without their babies. That is a club no one wants to be a part of, but once you are there, you are torn between not wanting to be alone and knowing that a new member means another woman has suffered the unimaginable. My heart will never forget that intense grief. You can't. It honestly feels as though your heart is dying. You physically can't breath.

I cannot believe most days how I've been blessed since that dark period...two kids, a boy and a girl...I have been given the perfect family. And I am so grateful for that. If you will, pray for this other girl. She will begin infertility treatments again soon. I hope her empty arms will soon be filled with a new baby. And in the meantime, I pray for peace...that kind that comes from God alone, that is beyond understanding. The kind that was in our delivery room that morning, as He came to take our babies home. We were ok, even though we weren't. Weird.

I wonder what W & K would be like now? I'm sure she'd be the boss...she always was. She was the womb-hog...he was always smooshed up in the top. He'd patiently wait for her to settle, then he'd re-siutate himself. I loved feeling the two of them working themselves out. I think he'd have been a momma's boy. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. I think of them often..and still, sometimes, I know I hear them laugh. I think God gives me those split second moments to know that they are ok and they are happy playing at the feet of their Lord.

Thanks for letting me get serious for a minute and reflect on things. Pray for Lori. I remember the dark days. My heart breaks for her.

Rain Rain Go Away

I love to sleep while it's raining. Not so fun to have to drag myself out of bed at 5:30 AM (yep) to a crying baby (for no reason!!!) while it's dark and raining and your husband is tucked in nice and warm. Not that he should have gotten up...I'm just saying. I go to bed at 9:00 BECAUSE I have to get up at 5:30 or whenever sweet pea decides it's morning. I'll be glad when I can reason with her, as I did with Bubba - "If it's dark, don't come out of your room". Now he's learning to tell time in Kindergarten..so he'll get a clock and I'll tell him not to come out til it's 7AM.

We have been the plague house for the month of January - first Sweet Pea had a sinus infection (a first for her), then Colby & I had misc. stomach viruses, then (currently) Bubba has tonsilitis (also a first). I felt so stupid with that..he came home Friday afternoon w/a fever of 102.something. We doped him up and I planned to take him in to the Saturday clinic. I love that!! Friday night AND Saturday morning while he was sitting with me, I made him brush his teeth because his breath was awful. Did it ever occur to me, the RN, to look at his throat?? Nope. The stay-at-home mom thing has robbed me of common nurse sense. Sure enough, his throat was nasty. I mean nasty. Immediately I said to the MD, "duh, no wonder his breath has been so awful". Anyway, he's had 6 of his 10 doses of antibiotic and I really hope Sweet Pea doesn't get that now that she was chewing on his toothbrush last night. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW

In other news - I had found a sitter for Sweet Pea so I can work on Tuesdays to clear the cobwebs from the nursing knowledge buried in my head. Something wasn't just right about this girl...mostly she needed to vacuum. I know that's petty, but when you keep little ones, you need to keep a reasonably clean house. So, after I talked myself out of her, I begged my aunt to keep her yesterday ;).So, I now have a sweet homeschooled girl who is going to keep her here at the house (where I vacuum!!) and that way Bubba can just come home on the bus as usual and not have to go home with friends. So, it's working out...let's hope next week goes well & the sitter doesn't look like she's needing sedation when we get home.

We tried to go to the YMCA yesterday...there was a conspiracy! First, Colby meets me in the parking lot saying he forgot his shoes, so I was going to be there alone. OK, I can do it. Then we get inside and the lady says to me, about Sweet Pea, "Are you planning to put her in childcare?" I say "yes" (I mean, really, what was my other option - tie her to the treadmill??) The childcare closes at 1...it was 12:50. Nice. So I came home and ate cookies instead. I am annoyed that I pay $27/month more for a family plan than an individual plan and the childcare is closed 3 hours in the afternoon. That's when I need to go. For that many people to pay that much more...it should be open whenever the Y is open. So, we are cancelling the membership. Otherwise, I'd have to go at 8 am and face it, that's not gonna happen!!.

I took psycho puppy to the vet this morning. She weighs about 17 pounds. We are to let her & Bailey continue duking it out...growling, biting, etc until she realizes that he is the alpha dog and she should leave him alone. She's pretty dumb, so that may take a while. I said to the vet "how many times to you need to get bit before you realize someone doesn't want to be your friend?" He said "150" I cracked up. What a comedian.

I'm meeting with a sitter for Sweet Pea today so I can work one day a week. She's young...25, but has 2 kids herself. I got positive news from two of the moms of other kids she keeps, so barring something weird in her house or Sweet Pea running and screaming from her...we'll start next week.

And for those who are UT football fans - Lane Kiffin is a LOSER! GOODBYE!

I'm not keeping up well

I'm still new to this blogging thing...I am envious of the blog moms I follow who post many times a week. I'll sit and think "Hmm..I could blog about that" But then I'm not motivated enough to do it. Today I have a few minutes. I did go back and replace the kids names with their new blog-names. Bubba (what she calls him) and Sweet Pea (which is Memaw's nickname for her). I was starting to get concerned about privacy since I can't figure out how to totally make this private, and really don't want to, since I know how amazingingly intriguing my blog is! Don't want anyone to get left out. So if you don't know my kids names now...you won't :) Though I only have 3 followers...that's sort of depressing. I did have my first comment the other day. I was so excited! And it's not even anyone I know personally (like mom!) Thanks!!

The sickies are over at my house for now. I think tonight will be Sweet Pea's last dose of antibiotic. We made it through 10 days of Augmentin with only a few "OH MY" diapers.

I took the puppy, Dixie, to the groomer for the first time ever today. Her nails & fur between her foot pads was crazy and I don't want to get the "look" from the vet tomorrow. We have an awesome groomer up here...$5 bucks and 5 minutes. No appt necessary!

Nothing else exciting around here lately...Colby & I are planning to start meeting at the YMCA a few times a week. Today is day 1.

back to normal?

Bubba is back to school today and Sweet Pea slept all night and has no fever. Wow, normal is GOOD!!

Our holidays were good, but crazy. My dad was in the hospital on Christmas Eve & Day, so things were a little out of sync. He was ok, thought it was a mini-stroke, turned out to be a migraine thing. Talk about jumping to conclusions!! :) We ended up having Christmas Eve w/my dad's family, Ch Day w/my mom's family, the day after Christmas w/my parents then we left town for the in-laws on Sunday. WHEW! We had a good week in East TN with family, did a bunch of nothing. Then Sweet Pea got a fever on Friday and we headed home Saturday.

She has a sinus infection but at least her fever is gone for now. She's on Augmentin and hopefully the snot will ease up soon.

We are supposed to get a little snow tomorrow night, we'll see. I sort of want it, sort of don't. I have discovered I liked winter a lot better before we had kids. All the coats and hats and blankets and standing in the cold strapping people in their seats...what a pain! Makes me a little glad we didn't have kids in Maine.

This morning I am saddened by news of a bus wreck near here where one child was killed (this came merely an hour after my own child boarded his bus) and there were 5 medevac copters on sight. Pray for these families and hopefully there will be no more fatalities.