A Moment of Quiet Reflection

Just sitting here at the computer, paying a few bills before even more days get away from me and it's the first of a new year. The boys are getting their hair cut and the little one is sleeping, so it's quiet here. I'm thinking of how blessed I am this year. It's amazing really, how many Christmases we had prior to Bubba coming into our lives...where we were with family, but so alone in our hearts. No sweet little stocking hung up, no "gotta have it" Christmas gift for our child. (This year it was a DS) God has blessed me with these two beautiful children. And two more that I will hold at some other time.



This year will be really fun because Bubba is still all into the magic of Christmas and Santa and Sweet Pea is big enough to really be into it. So much so that the gifts are all on the spare room bed so she doesn't unwrap them all in warp speed. We do Santa. He knows that Christmas is about Christ, not presents. But Santa is fun and I don't see anything wrong with it personally. I am not screwed up in the head because my parents lied to me about a fat guy bringing gifts. I'm fairly well adjusted.

I know I haven't been blogging much, I really don't feel that anyone cares about most of the stuff rambling in my head. But I just felt like saying that as I sit here paying my bills, a small part of my mind is reflecting on why we celebrate Christmas. We had our Christmas program at church this past weekend and 47 people were saved. The same little Christmas story that pretty much everyone knows, even if they don't believe it. Why, this time, did those 47 people "get" it? I don't know, but God had them there those 2 nights because HE knew they were ready to really HEAR the story and realize what is so important about this holiday. I like what our preacher said. Some people think it's just all a lie. But what other lie has sustained for 2000+ years? Watergate was figured out in a few days. And it's funny that so many who try to disprove Christ as the Messiah end up being saved (Have you read "The Case for Christ" by Lee Strobel?)

It's just about overwhelming to wrap your head around it. That's where faith comes in. I believe it because He said it. It's all written down. That's all I need to know.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

September

September

It used to be my favorite month...sort of cooler weather (though today it will be 95 degrees), leaves begin to change some by the end of the month, I don't know...I have just always like it. I also love the birthstone, Sapphire.

Now I have two of those beautiful sapphires in a mother's ring.

Of two precious children who aren't here.

I don't like September quite the same anymore.

The whole month of September does this to me: anytime I say, write, hear, or think "September" my mind immediately adds "the 24th". That is W & K's birthday. The whole month is just a work up to that day. After that day, I breath again. They would have been (will be? in Heaven) 9 years old. Wow.

I don't know when or if this will get easier than it is now. It's certainly better than it was at first when I was a wreck most of the time, certainly this time of year. Some years it has snuck up on me, suddenly it's Sept 12 or something. But mostly, I'm keenly aware of the approaching day.

I've moved on to October. It's really cooler, leaves are changing MORE, it's Colby's birthday, and this year we'll celebrate our 13th anniversary on Oct 4.

Yep, October is definitely better.

New puppy - Take Two

Our first attempt at getting a new pup for Bubba failed miserably. Dixie, aka "psycho puppy" was WAY more dog than any of us bargained for. She was too big, too goofy, and (I hate to say it) but she was really dumb. Not trainable kind of dumb. Vacant eyes kind of dumb. So, she went to live with some really odd people and I'm sure they are just happy as can be, and probably talk to their odd friends about how mistreated she was because we kept her OUTSIDE.

**they wouldn't take her blanket that she'd had for 6 months because it had dirt on it. It was outside. It was hers. You have a washing machine! **

So, anywho...shortly after parting ways with Dixie, my cousin offered us his beagle puppy. She needed a bit more attention than he & his wife, who both work, could give her. So, we discussed it and said "sure, we'll take her for a few days and try her out". Then he changed his mind. No biggie. So we put the pup search on the backburner for the rest of the summer and decided to wait til the school year got us back into a routine. We were thinking Yorkie. Little, energetic, yep, that'll work. Then I get a message from above cousin. They decided again to try to give us the beagle. So, we got her on Friday, she's great, housebroken already (bonus), free (Bonus), all accessories included (bonus). Bubba loves her. Sweet Pea is getting there. Bailey (our old-man dog) hates her, but whatever, he hates all animals.

So, here we go again, hopefully with success. And visitation rights for my cousin.

Only one problem - her name is Aubie for the Auburn University Tigers. Um, we don't like Auburn. We are Tennessee folk. Gotta work something out there.

I Think I Can

As I said in my last post, I rejoined the YMCA. I know my husband was not thrilled about this, since I've joined before and never gone. So, this time I was going! (that purchase of size 14 pants had sent me over the edge). I have been going, about twice a week and doing aerobics classes. There is one on Monday/Friday that I really like, circuit -style. We alternate cardio & hand weights so you never feel like you are going to pass out...you get little breaks. One uses the step and the other doesn't. I also got on a tortune machine, a.k.a. stair-step/elliptical, yesterday for 30 minutes and I survived! :) I am actually looking forward to going, which has never happened! A friend on facebook told me when I looked forward to it, I should sit down and eat doughnuts til the urge passed! Cracked me up! I am hoping this is just the beginning of a healhier me. Now to work on the food...ugh. Does working out mean I can eat more ? Ha!

Off to make my tuna fish sandwich on new NutriGrain sandwich thins (they are good!)

Special Thursdays

I put Sweet Pea in Mother's Day Out this summer. She was actually a few months older than Bubba when he started. And the reason I did it in the summer instead of waiting til fall is because I thought Bubba needed some one-on-one time. So, we've been having "Big Boy Thursdays". It's strange, for 4 1/2 years, it was just me & him. And especially at our last duty station in Oklahoma, when Colby was gone almost all the time, it was really just us, always. So, now that he's bigger, he mostly wants to do stuff with his daddy, like going to Bass Pro and Lowe's, wrestling, etc. He's always been a daddy's boy but now that he's big enough to do more, he really is. I don't mind, really. It probably helps that Sweet Pea is a momma's girl!

So, I was sort of bummed because out of the first month of summer vacation, we only got one Thursday. We started off the summer with Lamb Camp (yep, we live in the sticks), VBS, followed by 2 weeks at Nana's. So, last week was our first time. He wanted to go see "Dolphins & Whales" at the IMAX and afterwards we hit McD's and the Baskin Robbins (HEY - it's his day, not mine!!). Then today we went to Incredible Pizza, which for those who don't know, is Chuck E. Cheese on steriods. Or maybe crack. It was fun. We played games and collected tickets and rode go-carts. He took his first spin on the bumper cars, solo - twice. I enjoyed watching him laugh without having to check on/hold/chase after Sweet Pea. I also took him for a haircut for our impending sibling pics and made a pit stop at the Christian bookstore for religious silly bands.

He's a fun kid. As I watched him drive the bumper cars, it hit me how big he's getting, and how fast he's getting there.

PE Tubes...Part 3

For the 3rd time, I've taken my child to the hospital for PE Tubes.

Bubba has had 2 sets, one at 15 months and one at just before 5 years old. Both are out and he has been ear infection free for over a year. Whew.

Now it's Sweet Pea's turn. I was really hoping I was avoiding it this time. She had one ear infection at 11 months and then got one again right before Memorial Day.

And she STILL has it. After 4 round of antibiotics plus a shot, today she got tubes. She was not happy at the hospital, as if she knew something was not right. She freaked when I tried to put the cute puppy dog gown on (and she loves dogs!!!). She freaked about the ID bracelet...finally they took her, crying and reaching for me. One of those moments that pierces your heart. In about 10 minutes, the MD came out and said she did great. YAY! When we went back to recovery, she was just waking up. A nurse was holding her and she looked totally out of it. My heart sank a bit. My sweet girl, totally drugged up. Immediately she woke up and got hysterical. Nothing I did helped. She was just beside herself. We finally were allowed to leave and once we were outside, she was ok. By the time we got home, she was fine. I think she's already feeling better.

Now for those blasted ear plugs.

This is the last time, I promise!

We've been members of our local YMCA 2 times over the last 5 years. I've used the Y approximately 5 times. Yep, I'm the girl with the big plans, joins the Y and goes the first time right after and then...well..I HATE to exercise. I do not get the endorphins I hear people claiming about after they've worked out "I feel GREAT!". I feel like eating a cookie & taking a nap after I work out.

Yet I sit on the couch and eat whatever I can find and gripe about being fat. Which I'm really not, I'm just "soft" HAHA. But, truthfully (and here it goes) 160 on a 5-foot-barely-3 inches frame is not pretty. Not that I want or even think I'd ever be thin, but 140 isn't too much to ask for. And a much smaller muffin top would be lovely.

So, I am going to do it this time. I rejoined the Y today (NO JOIN FEE!) Colby is annoyed (rightly so) at the amount of his hard earned money that I waste on memberships. But lately I think I've hit the sort of wall I hit after Bubba was born that I just couldn't go any further. Size 14 is my limit. I WILL NOT buy a 16. My personal stopping point. And after buying 3 pair of size 14 capris this summer, I'm done. I will not be able to wear them next summer (which is a shame, because they are really cute). After he was about a year old, I was at this same point, about 160 and unhappy. I did LA Weight Loss and Jazzercise and got down to 140. I was good then. I want to be back there.

As an update to Sweet Pea's ears...as of this past Wednesday, the infection was clearing, still some redness & fluid but definite improvement. We go to the ENT on Wednesday this week to see if she needs tubes. My opinion is that if the infection is clear, let's wait and see. If she has another one soon, fine, we'll do tubes. Maybe she'll not have more. She's only had 2 her whole life, this one was just a doozy.